Technology 'InAction'
This is going to be a bit lengthy. Sorry...
Anyway, after doing some shopping on the west, (read opposite), side of town this evening, I noticed we were on "Check Gage" in the truck, so I stopped at a Speedway SuperAmerica to gas up our truck.
So we're standing there like idiots, waiting for the clerk to give us some options, but nothing's coming. Hasn't this happened to anyone before?!? So I ask, "what are our options here?" He answers, "do you have a debit/credit card?" No, Spanky, no. I don't like "plastic." And why would I need it when I have a perfectly good checkbook and plenty of cash in the bank to cover my checks? "Well, then," he says, "you can either call someone to come and bring you the money, or one of you can stay here while the other goes to get some." Did I mention it's almost 8:00 at night by this time? Oh, and then he adds something to the effect of, "those are our options before involving the police." WTF?!? You little shit, (done censoring cause I'm gettin' riled up)! I shoulda' let him call the police to take me away. What would they have charged me with? Inability to pay for my gasoline with the more than sufficient funds that were sitting, inexplicably inaccessible to me in my checking account? Or perhaps inability to fix someone else's fucked up check verification system over the phone from another state? OK, worst case scenario: what if I was all by myself in another city, let's say at 3:00 AM? I wouldn't have anyone to call and bring me money. I wouldn't be able to drive anywhere to try and get some, even if it were earlier, as "someone would have to stay there." I guess police would be the only option, eh? And again, what would they charge me with? GRRRRR!
So by this point, I say to the clerk, "I need to know why they aren't approving this. Can you call the verification company back and let me talk to someone?" This he does, tells the woman on the other end that he has a customer that wants to know why, and then hands me the phone. "Sir, I'm going to transfer you," she says. "OK," I say, thinking "now I'm getting somewhere." Of course here, "transfer" means to route me to another automated message telling me that at the tone, I need to provide the date and time of the incident, the dollar amount of the transaction, the store's name, address and phone number, the clerk's name, my name and address, my checking account routing number, my driver's license number and state of issuance, my favorite Stephen King novel, my turn-ons, my pick for this season's American Idol, the color of the clerk's mother's eyes... You get the picture. Well, not being an American Idol fan, I realized I had to approach this another way, so I hung up and asked the clerk to call them back again. This time, I told the representative what I needed, and that I didn't want to leave a message, that I needed to know now. She explained to me that, due to Illinois law, she could not tell me that over the phone, that I would need to receive that explanation in the mail.
Nearing wits end now, I ask the clerk if I can't leave my $400 BlackBerry there as collateral. Nope, they can't take items like that. Not cell phones, not driver's licenses, nothing. OK, I see the point, for all they know the phone could be stolen. Blah blah blah. So JL and I discuss the possibility of driving somewhere else to cash a check, and then coming back. Of course only one of us could go. "There's a check cashing place nearby," the clerk says. I've never been to one, so I ask him what they'd need. "Driver's license," he says. Well, that rules me out, as I have recently misplaced my driver's license. So it's JL. "Of course, it's in kind of a rough neighborhood," the clerk continues, "so they might want other forms of documentation/identification." Oh fuck that, for Christ's sake! Now I'm supposed to send my wife into the fucking ghetto just so this jackass clerk and this piece-of-shit system can get their goddamned money?!?
Finally, after at least a half-hour of this crap, I had to bite the bullet, whip out my employer's "purchasing card" and use that to make my gasoline purchase. (Boy that's going to go over like a ton of bricks tomorrow! There'll probably be all kinds of paperwork and other B.S. I'll have to go through to get that all squared away. And then probably some sort of verbal condemnation, etc. *sigh*) Then, when we got home, I went to check my checking account online. There was over $800 in there. I know you might say, "maybe some checks just hadn't posted yet, or shown up in the account online." But even if they all had posted, there still would have been about $300 there. So what the Hell? I was right, those mothers were wrong!
So what did I get for all my trouble here? Besides the near-aneurysm, and the "complimentary" crappuccinos my new friend gave us? I got a nice slip of paper from the store, telling me that they had screwed me royally, and that my time and customer satisfaction didn't mean shit to them or the companies whose services they employed. Well...in as many words:
Please do not construe my inclusion of the "GPCS" link above as being, in any way, an endorsement of them, or their services! Based on my dealings with them so far, I have to honestly say that I think they suck. Simple enough? I just wanted to include their contact information so you can join with me in sending negative vibes their way. C'mon, chant with me:
So ultimately, who screwed me worse here? GPCS? Speedway SuperAmerica? My credit union? Who? Well, I don't know, but I aim to find out. We never did actually see the check verification system work for anyone - not even another customer. JL was somewhat convinced part way through all this that another woman across the way was having issues getting her check to clear, but I was fairly certain that she was dealing with plastic, as I heard something to the effect that she hadn't "activated it yet."
What can I do to get reparations? Probably nothing. But if I can smear these companies' names in some way, in the eyes of those of you that might read my blog, then I will feel at least somewhat vindicated.
Maybe it's time for more chanting...
Anyway, after doing some shopping on the west, (read opposite), side of town this evening, I noticed we were on "Check Gage" in the truck, so I stopped at a Speedway SuperAmerica to gas up our truck.
21.381 gallons of regular unleaded at $2.459/gallon (ouch!) came to a hefty $52.58, (double ouch!). [Say, at that price, if I kept filling my tank up with 0.0018, (or even 0.001), gallons of gas at a stretch, and then going in to pay for it, couldn't I eventually fill my truck up for free? Hey, if they're going to be so freakin' picky with minute fractions of a whole number, then why the Hell can't I?!? Think about it...]Anyway, so we go in to pay for it. JL dispenses a couple crappuccinos for us and then goes to write out the check. Well, she hands over the blank check, rather, since everything is all automated now. [How am I supposed to bounce a check anymore if you always go and check, (no pun intended), my account for sufficient funds?!?] So I come walking up as the jerk, I mean clerk, is handing her back the check saying "it wasn't accepted." Um, say what?!? (How expensive were those crappuccinos?) No, I'm sorry, you must have made a mistake. I know there is over $400 in that checking account, and that's if every check I had out cleared, which I'm pretty sure they haven't. "Well, let me try something else," he says, as he calls the check authorization place directly. Nope, still no go. Um, say what?!? Why not? "Sorry, they don't tell us that." Well, let me call my credit union to see if I can figure out what's going on here. Grab the yellow pages, which lists the phone number, right alongside of the text saying "24-hour access." Call the credit union. Guess what... "24-hour access" apparently means "we leave the answering machine plugged in for 24 hours," 'cause do ya' think I could talk to a freakin' human being?!? Oh, and have you seen the credit card commercials where the guy is trying to get through to customer service, and he has to keep speaking his responses to the automated prompts? "Your pet's name? Fluffy." "Your password? big boy." Anyway, this automated menu system had it all over that one! And try doing that bull-sh*t in a loud convenience store on a cell phone, which keeps cutting out! Half the menu options you miss, then half of the rest of the time the crappy system thinks you spoke a response but doesn't quite know what you said. "I'm sorry, I did not understand your response. Please say it again." Blah blah blah. So I ask to use the clerk's phone. Not much luck with that one either - I was still unable to track down a body, or any useful information.
So we're standing there like idiots, waiting for the clerk to give us some options, but nothing's coming. Hasn't this happened to anyone before?!? So I ask, "what are our options here?" He answers, "do you have a debit/credit card?" No, Spanky, no. I don't like "plastic." And why would I need it when I have a perfectly good checkbook and plenty of cash in the bank to cover my checks? "Well, then," he says, "you can either call someone to come and bring you the money, or one of you can stay here while the other goes to get some." Did I mention it's almost 8:00 at night by this time? Oh, and then he adds something to the effect of, "those are our options before involving the police." WTF?!? You little shit, (done censoring cause I'm gettin' riled up)! I shoulda' let him call the police to take me away. What would they have charged me with? Inability to pay for my gasoline with the more than sufficient funds that were sitting, inexplicably inaccessible to me in my checking account? Or perhaps inability to fix someone else's fucked up check verification system over the phone from another state? OK, worst case scenario: what if I was all by myself in another city, let's say at 3:00 AM? I wouldn't have anyone to call and bring me money. I wouldn't be able to drive anywhere to try and get some, even if it were earlier, as "someone would have to stay there." I guess police would be the only option, eh? And again, what would they charge me with? GRRRRR!
So by this point, I say to the clerk, "I need to know why they aren't approving this. Can you call the verification company back and let me talk to someone?" This he does, tells the woman on the other end that he has a customer that wants to know why, and then hands me the phone. "Sir, I'm going to transfer you," she says. "OK," I say, thinking "now I'm getting somewhere." Of course here, "transfer" means to route me to another automated message telling me that at the tone, I need to provide the date and time of the incident, the dollar amount of the transaction, the store's name, address and phone number, the clerk's name, my name and address, my checking account routing number, my driver's license number and state of issuance, my favorite Stephen King novel, my turn-ons, my pick for this season's American Idol, the color of the clerk's mother's eyes... You get the picture. Well, not being an American Idol fan, I realized I had to approach this another way, so I hung up and asked the clerk to call them back again. This time, I told the representative what I needed, and that I didn't want to leave a message, that I needed to know now. She explained to me that, due to Illinois law, she could not tell me that over the phone, that I would need to receive that explanation in the mail.
Nearing wits end now, I ask the clerk if I can't leave my $400 BlackBerry there as collateral. Nope, they can't take items like that. Not cell phones, not driver's licenses, nothing. OK, I see the point, for all they know the phone could be stolen. Blah blah blah. So JL and I discuss the possibility of driving somewhere else to cash a check, and then coming back. Of course only one of us could go. "There's a check cashing place nearby," the clerk says. I've never been to one, so I ask him what they'd need. "Driver's license," he says. Well, that rules me out, as I have recently misplaced my driver's license. So it's JL. "Of course, it's in kind of a rough neighborhood," the clerk continues, "so they might want other forms of documentation/identification." Oh fuck that, for Christ's sake! Now I'm supposed to send my wife into the fucking ghetto just so this jackass clerk and this piece-of-shit system can get their goddamned money?!?
Finally, after at least a half-hour of this crap, I had to bite the bullet, whip out my employer's "purchasing card" and use that to make my gasoline purchase. (Boy that's going to go over like a ton of bricks tomorrow! There'll probably be all kinds of paperwork and other B.S. I'll have to go through to get that all squared away. And then probably some sort of verbal condemnation, etc. *sigh*) Then, when we got home, I went to check my checking account online. There was over $800 in there. I know you might say, "maybe some checks just hadn't posted yet, or shown up in the account online." But even if they all had posted, there still would have been about $300 there. So what the Hell? I was right, those mothers were wrong!
So what did I get for all my trouble here? Besides the near-aneurysm, and the "complimentary" crappuccinos my new friend gave us? I got a nice slip of paper from the store, telling me that they had screwed me royally, and that my time and customer satisfaction didn't mean shit to them or the companies whose services they employed. Well...in as many words:
We are sorry that we are unable to accept your check at this time.
The decision to decline your check was influenced by information in a consumer report provided, at our request, byGlobal Payments Check Services Inc. ("GPCS"),
P.O. Box 59371,
Chicago, IL 60659,
1-800-638-4600, Ext 407
Please do not construe my inclusion of the "GPCS" link above as being, in any way, an endorsement of them, or their services! Based on my dealings with them so far, I have to honestly say that I think they suck. Simple enough? I just wanted to include their contact information so you can join with me in sending negative vibes their way. C'mon, chant with me:
OHM... OHM... OMG... OMG... OHMYGODYOUSUCK... OHMYGODYOUSUCK...
So ultimately, who screwed me worse here? GPCS? Speedway SuperAmerica? My credit union? Who? Well, I don't know, but I aim to find out. We never did actually see the check verification system work for anyone - not even another customer. JL was somewhat convinced part way through all this that another woman across the way was having issues getting her check to clear, but I was fairly certain that she was dealing with plastic, as I heard something to the effect that she hadn't "activated it yet."
What can I do to get reparations? Probably nothing. But if I can smear these companies' names in some way, in the eyes of those of you that might read my blog, then I will feel at least somewhat vindicated.
Maybe it's time for more chanting...
4 Comments:
This may bean over-simplistic response to such a crappy situation, but mine is:
Get a cradit card and/or a debit card. They cost nothing at our credit union to get, cost nothing if you don't use them, but when you are in a situation like this or at certain restaurants that don't take checks (you know what I mean) then you'll have it.
You are still in your 30's, you work in the Technology field, you are not too old to change with the times. Checks still have their place, but you need to get you some plastic.
plastic=good! of course, they don't always work either. i got a credit card for emergencies once. they turned out to be expensive emergencies!
GPCS OHMYGODYOUSUCK... OHMYGODYOUSUCK...
I laughed out loud so many times as I read this post! Not because of your misfortune, but because you stated it so eloquently.
My wife had a similar situation the other day, although they wouldn't take our check because they were STARTER CHECKS because we forgot to order new ones. WTF is the difference if my check has number 5,342 or 12? Does it really F'king matter? This time they were racially profiling my checks. We had enough money in our account, as did you, however it was the color of our checks that kept us from paying "the Man".
Well, good luck digging your way out of the "card use" issue.
$$ The Donald $$
Obviously you don't realize that in the new world order of global megacorps and monopolies, Customer Service is something YOU are expected to supply. Just because their check verification system was down doesn't mean they simply accept your check (and on the off chance that it bounced - charge you an extra $40 fee on top of the $30 fee your global financial institution would charge), you should have to provide an alternative payment method. But don't be too upset, I'm sure the oil companies time that you wasted won't cut very far into last months $10 billion dollar profits.
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